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One Piece Legacy: Dead End Journey Part 33
Fantasia, Ashlynn and Christie sat on the Attack Pirates ship, drinking bottle after bottle of Sake. "AYOOOOO!!! Future booze!! Christie I wanna take some of this with me." Ashlynn slurred. Fantasia got up from her seat and walked over to Damien. "You... Fuckboy.." Damien looked up from his book. "Fantasia go home, you're drunk." "Don't tell me what to do!!" "Jericho!! Our navigator is drunk again..... Jericho?" Damien glanced over to Jericho being squished against the deck by Tatiana. "Uhh... Jericho?" "DAMMIT DAMIEN I GOT SHIT TO WIN!!!" He started to struggle to no prevail. "WHY AM I SO WEAK?!!!" Freya is hammered, with Wayward sipping whiskey. "Man... I just... I'm loving this booze! I never drank booze." Wayward stares at Freya. "You took three sips." "I CAN SIP 4!" She does so, and looks to be smiling. "Wayzie... Therez threez of youz! Hah... Threez... Stupid Frey... It's pronounced 'Th-reee-eeeeee-eeeeee-eeee! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHHAHA!" "Ha! Lightweight." Wayward downs the rest of his whiskey. "AYO!! I need another bottle!" As he finished his sentence he burped purple flames. "Ooh pretty!" Damien pulled his book over his eyes. "My crew mates are all drunk... The captain is running like a dog.. And the vice captain is getting his ass handed to him... Sometimes I wonder why I joined this crew." "But you remember that you can't get this kind of entertainment anywhere else!!" Wayward yelled. "About that whiskey?" Fantasia slid a bottle down the table. "Here ya go Dragon Breath!" "Wyvern! We are the better dragons!" Freya sips it. "Daddy killed a Wyvern, and a guy, and a deer, and a doodie head... Hehe... Head..." Fantasia rose from her seat and walked over to Freya. "Me and you kid. We can be great friends." She hiccuped. "Fuck off Wayward, this is grown folk bidness." "I'm older than both of you. Which is why I can hold my liquor." Wayward downed another bottle of whiskey and hiccuped. "Up! I reached the limit! Jimero I need a restart!" "He's not here." Damien spoke from his book. "He's gone, something about mistletoe." "I'm 16!" Freya laughs and drinks more. "16 divided by two is... Something something... Maybe it's 76... Two? Is it... I need booze to think! HAHAHAHHAHA!" Freya sips more and stands up. "Party!" Everyone begins to look around nervously. "16?! We let an underage girl drink?! Only criminals would... Oh wait... Pirates." Hiroka and Airi walked aboard the ship and watched as the chaos unfolded. "We may be pirates but we're not monsters." Hiroka grabbed the bottle from Freya. "Hey! Give that back!" Freya stood up and reached for her sword. Hiroka sat her down. "I'm only thinking of your health." "Booooo!!! Buzzkill!" Fantasia yelled. "Where's the asshole of the timeline? He can make her older." Fantasia wobbled around the ship and passed out. "Nap time." Freya tries to drink more but Hiroka and Airi grab her and push her back. "NO! MY BOOZE!" "Freya, we can't allow you to drink." Hiroka sat down next to her. "You understand don't you?" "I WANT BOOZE!" Freya slams the floor with her hands and when they stare at her, she pouts. Christie is staring at Freya and is shocked. "But she acts so... Badass. Why does she act like a 5 year old girl." Freya stares at Christie. "Wow... You have big boobs. I mean... Mine are non existent. Flat. Flatty flat flat flat." "I guess this is what truly goes on in her mind." Airi stated. "She's calm and collected when sober, and outrageous and uncontrollable when drunk... Kinda like Rhea." Freya looked up to Airi and poked her breast. "They're ginormous!! Can I have half?" Airi covered her chest. "Uhh.." "Come on! You see what I got compared to you. Half isn't much." Raion teleported next to Airi and leaned on her. "And if memory serves me correctly. You have the biggest bust size in the crew. Around 95 cm." Freya laughs, and points at Raion. "95! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! More like... Super duper ginormous! But Nope... That's a nerd answer! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!" Raion looks at his hands and starts to think. "I'm one of the most powerful beings in the world... If I can't do this.. I don't deserve that title." He snaps his fingers and Freya's chest begins to grow to match Airi's. "I... Am... Awesome!! But it doesn't match well.... I know! I'll give you Hiroka's!" He snapped his fingers again and her chest shrinks down. "My powers are unlimited!!!" Freya looks down to her chest. "They're heavy and squishy." "Just the way I like em!" She looks at them and grabs ballons. "Ballons?" "What? You thought I could create real boobs? If I could... I WOULD HAVE THEM!" Freya throws balloons at Raion. "Ahh.. Balloons... Natures grenades." "What kind of childhood did you go through?" Airi leaned back. "Umm marine life. Pirate life. Both.... That marine life was just cleaning up and playing with other army brats... It sucked." "Wow. Such a fun childhood. Tell me more, of how you swapped poop decks for old froze crone." "That's where you're wrong. I swabbed decks for gourmet. Being the grandson of an admiral paid off. Or at least adopted grandson.., either way benefits were mutual." "Well rich boy, I don't care. So..." Airi throws ballons at Raion. "I miss it.... Except for the cleaning. Fuck dat shit." Rhea walked aboard the ship, completely drunk. "Hi everybody!" She slurred. Fantasia rolled over. "Heeeyyyyyy!!!!" "Nope. Can't do it." Raion shook his head and teleported away. - Raion is far away, and stares at Yoshi and Claude drinking beer, and singing songs. "Praise be, to the Gear Gods! Praise be, to the Gods of life..." "Gear Gods? Must be a new religion." Raion sat down next to Yoshi and Claude. "So question... Do you guys have any snacks? I'm feeling Peckish." Yoshi and Claude stare at Raion. "Why if it isn't the God of fertility, and pervitude!" "Pervitude? Is that even a word? Wait God?!" "Indeed. You are also God of holes. You have a lot of strange jobs." "God of Holes.... That sounds like it sucks. So I'm just god of diggin holes?" Raion laid his head down. "I need a piece of pie. Anything but pumpkin. If we ain't got no pie, don't bring out strawberry cake. It allures someone I wanna avoid right now. So bring me sweets." Yoshi grabbed something from his man purse, and handed something to Raion. "An offering." "... You got me Dirty books." "Indeed." Claude hands Raion a shovel. "For the holes." Raion looks at the books and the shovel. "Okay the books I'll keep. Thank you very much for those I'll make sure that you two have great chances with the pervy side. But the shovel I'm still trying to figure out... Also... Where's my cake? Oh and where am I?" "What Cake? Why would we have a cake? Second... You are in... THE CIRCLE OF THE GEAR GODS SANCTUARY!" "We shall have cake cause your god said so! And where the hell is that? It can't be that far from where I was... Could it?" Belladonna kicked the door down. "I heard cake." "Just the person I was trying to avoid." Raion started to fade but stopped. "Huh? Why am I not disappearing?!" Yoshi is holding Raion. "PLEASE! LET ME REPENT!" "YOU ARE FORGIVEN! PLEASE LET ME GO!!" Raion shivered. "Too late... I'm her target now.... It's so cold... And evil..." "I'm not evil." Belladonna explained. "I just have a powerful presence." "You are the more violent Fantasia. Everyone is gonna notice you.. And that's not a good thing!!" "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S EVIL! THIS VODKA! IT'S KILLING ME!" Beta and his crew are marching and drinking alchohal. Belladonna turned to Beta. "Excuse me. Are you a pirate?" Raion shook his head. "Don't answer that!" "Pirate?! No... I'M THE BEST DAMN PIRATE IN ALL THE SEAS! THE EAST... THE WEST... SOUTH... BLUE... BOTH GRAND ONES... THE SKY ONES... AND EVEN THE SAND ONES!" "How high is your bounty?" Belladonna started to reach into her sleeves. "It must be huge." "Easy! It is... 115,000,000!" "Good." Belladonna pulled out her blades and charged for Beta. Just as she slashed, Raion tackled Beta to the ground. "Space Man, stay outta my business!" "I'll let you in on a secret. We can't kill anyone here." "Fine. Then I'll kill you." She glared down to Raion and rose her blade. Raion turned to Yoshi and Claude. "Uhh... Can I get two pieces of strawberry cake please?" Belladonna squeaked. "Cake? St-strawberry?" "With extra whip cream." "REALLY?!" "OF COURSE!" "Y..." Beta grabbed Belladona, and did a suplex. He slammed her onto the ground, knocking her out. "SURPRISE ATTACKS! IT DEALS 3.5x MORE DAMAGE THEN USUAL!" Raion shook his head. "You do know when she wakes up, she's gonna kill you. Maybe literally." He stood up and grabbed a piece of cake from Yoshi and placed it next to her. "That'll help....hopefully." Beta grins and lifts Belladona up. "Maybe... But she'll be long gone! Through the time stream!" "Good point. Cake?" "Oh, it goes to my hips... I mean... A man can't eat girl food! Even if it's... So delicious... SCREW THE CARBS!" Beta grabs it and consumes some cake. Raion turned to Yoshi and Claude. "Well. I'll mention you two to my servants when I become a god. You'll be holy men!" Yoshi bowed. "I am sorry. But I can't accept. I follow the path of Hiroka. I can't stray from the path she's set me on." Raion shrugged. "Knowing her, it must be intense and serious. I understand... Besides she's scary.. Hot but scary..." Sweat beaded down Raion's face. "Yeah I'm not messing with her.." "Oh! It is scary. I had to be stuck in a dark room for a whole week. It's scary at first, but it helps you understand." "Understand what?" "Understand what true fear is. I've never been afraid again. I even lost my asthma!" "Well that sealed the deal. I'm officially terrified of Hiroka." "Don't blame her, blame us for interpreting her wrong." "Too late, she's scary now.... Now that I think about it... I'm not sure if Kent's the captain or Hiroka! I just gotta hope that she doesn't take over. Maybe I'll get her some cake and she'll be less scary." Raion grabbed a piece of cake from the counter and teleported away. - Raion appeared before Hiroka and handed her a piece of cake. "Here you go. Please don't put me in a dark room for a week to get rid of asthma. I don't even have asthma. So please don't do it." Be said quickly then teleported away. Hiroka stood dumbfounded. "Uhh... What was that about?" Airi shrugged. "He's acting stranger than usual. At least he gave us a gift." - Raion is hiding, and is in a room. He stares at it and sees posters of muscular men, speedos, jump ropes, energy bars, and a mask. "Oh no..." "MIGUEL!" Raion slowly turned around to see Miguel drenched in sweat. "Uhh... Hi..." He quivered, slowly walking forward. "How're you?" "Oh, I just did my afternoon training. 500,000 reps every day on my 20 ton weights. Then I do 25,000 jumping jacks, 5,000 reps on the salmon bar, and 100,000 push-ups. I do it to stay fit. My real training is my morning one." "Yeah.. I'll just let you finish that." "Hold on!! It's always better with a partner!! I want you to workout with me!!" "You see the problem with that is that I just finished a workout." "Oh really? You don't look like you sweated. Well, I'll take your word for it. Come friend, I have a speedo for you. Trust me, the ladies Love a man in a good speedo." "Sure..." "But your friend said yes." "Who?" - Jakk is wearing speedos and waves at Georgina. - "Wait... Don't answer. Only an idiot would say yes." "Does that mean you don't want one? Come on! They're comfortable and flexible!" "Sorry. But no.... Wait... You're being quieter than usual. Whats the deal? You sick or somethin?" "Well, being bombastic can be a hard job. In reality... I only act like that in front of everyone to raise moral! I don't scream all the time." "Good to know." Raion pulls out ear plugs from his ears. "Then I don't need to use these. Now knowing that you're not always loud I can tolerate being around you a bit more... But I'm not wearing the speedo." "Then how about... A cape, a mask, and a gel that grows your mustache!" "No. None of that. I'm gonna workout in what I always wear. Some shorts. No mask, no cape, and I don't want a mustache." Raion snapped his fingers and his clothes dispersed leaving him wearing only some basketball shorts. Miguel looked disgusted and wanted to spit. "Such... Disgusting work attire." "Don't judge me! I don't like having my privates bulging out! And besides speedos are too tight." "But mine are super comfy!" "NEVER!" Raion runs away. - Chrono walked among the forest, lost in deep thought. "A few months time... I'm locked out of the void so I can't stretch it.. Will I be strong enough? What should I do?" He perked up and turned around. "Who's there?! Come out now!" Rosaline put her hands up and walked forward. "I didn't do anything please don't turn me into an old lady!" "What the hell are you doing here? Were you following me?" "Kinda... I saw you were in a bad mood. I thought maybe some music will help." "Little girl. Leave me alone. I have too many things on my mind." "You were talking about being strong. Maybe you could train with Kent and Roku or someone from this time." "No thanks, I work better alone." "But you're calling on us for help." "... Just shut up!" "Did that sting?" "NO! Don't you have dolls to play with? Go do that!" "I'm 17. I don't play with dolls anymore." "Well... Go do what 17 year old girls do." "Why should I?" "Because... Shut up! Respect someone who is older, and far wiser then you!" "Do wise people say shut up?" "..." "Just as I thought." "Don't you have anything better to do?" "Nope. I just wanted to wander the forest. And I found you." Rosaline pulls a flute from her bag and starts to play. "Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb." She hummed. "Of all the members I'm familiar with... You are the most annoying..." Chrono's eye started twitching. "That's rude!" "You're annoying." "At least I know now to have fun!" Rosaline stuck her tongue out and stormed off. "No fun havin meanie!" "I CAN HAVE FUN! Alone... With no one else. Chrono stares at his hand, and makes it look like a dog's mouth. "Bark bark, I'm a dumb mongrel, but i'm smarter then Kent! Bark... Oh dear god... I need to get new friends." A flute started to play and Rosaline marched back towards Chrono. "I'll be your friend." "Little girl. I need stronger friends. I'd mop the floor with you." "How would you know?" "You don't have a bounty compared to my 600,000,000. It's not even a contest." "That's why you're on the B List!" "B list?" "Yeah! Kent ranks his enemies from S, A, B, C, D, & F. You're on B." "B?! How the hell am I on B?!" "And you know what else! That's my level! I can take you on no problem." "No way in hell. You have a snowball's chance in hell of beating me." Chrono turned away. "Now shoo! Go play with someone else." "You know what I think? You're scared!" A vein grew along Chrono's head. "I'm not gonna sink to your level. I'm not gonna do it." "Okay... Chrony bony..." "RAGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!" - "So you rank enemies?" Tack looked to Kent, and Kent nodded. "Ooh! Can you tell me! That sound's cool!" Kent put his head in his hands. "Hmm... Leone is ranked B... Red is.... Let's not talk about Red. Chrono is B.. Hades is C. Umm... BlackBeard and Akainu are my only S ranked enemies at the moment... Oh! And Kaido! The entire Third Generation Super Rookies... Well most of them are A ranked. Akatsuki is C.. Wow I feel old. Talking about the olden days." "Why is Chrono B? He seem's strong. Well, for me. Beta used to be D, Brog was B, but he seems to be A now, Kaj was D, Riker is A, Oak was B, Bakaraki is S, Nassop is S, Jakk is A, and Benjamin is S. Of course, both Tobias and Mason are Super S's." "I ranked Chrono a B because he's slowly becoming my friend. It's a rocky friendship sure, but he'll catch on. That's why Roku, Rosa, and Swizzz aren't even ranked. They're friends. Chrono originally started off as an A. Became an S when he sided with Kaido, now he's a B." "Ooh." - Rosaline is in a ditch, with Chrono on top of her. "GIVE!" "NEVER!" "We can do this all day! I got time." "Was that a pun?!" "MAYBE IT WAS!! WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!" "THIS!" Rosaline turns around and blows in Chrono's stomach. Chrono laughs and falls over, with Rosaline continuing. "STOP!!" Chrono laughed. "STOP!! I can't breathe!!" "Admit I beat you!" "NEVER!!" She blows harder and Chrono's face starts to become pink. "PLEASE! STOP!" "NEVER!" "I GIVE!" Rosaline stands on Chrono and does a arm flex. "I AM THE STRONGEST THERE EVER WAS!" Chrono laid face down. "You are a cheater..." Chrono pushes Rosaline off of him and stands tall. His breathing increased as he leaned onto a tree. "That was a dirty move." "It granted results!" "FOR A COWARD!" "You're just mad that you were beat by a girl." "I don't care about that. I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU CHEATED!!" "Come on, angry that I beat you up?" "... Well... SHUT UP!" Chrono leaps at Rosaline and does a karate kick. Rosaline Ducks and Chrono smashed into a tree. "When... When did I stop being a credible threat and become a butt monkey?" "I say... 12.4 hours ago. I can explain it all in detail. Your powers are broken, you're no longer heartless like when we first met." "We met before?!" "This is why I beat you up. Also while everyone else gets stronger, you remain the same. Like your not even trying anymore. And I just proved it!" "Oh really?" Chrono stood back up and stared down to Rosaline. "Tell me your theory of how I'm not strong?" "I'm the weakest member of the crew and I beat you. Without my music too." - Hades grabbed his chest and wobbled to the ground. "Hades! Are you alright?" "Yeah I'm fine... I just feel like something awfully funny happened to my brother... What the hell did I miss?!!" - Chrono is sitting down listening to Rosaline. "Okay... So I'm not badass?" "Not anymore. Maybe when we first met." Chrono got up and walked away. "I've lost my edge... My heart has grown soft... I'm genuinely weak.." Chrono punches a tree and looks at his fist. "I... I want to become strong again..." "Then go at Rosaline's gym and fitness! You can do cardio workouts, moderate fitness, and general health improvement. We're here to get you... Pumped up!" Chrono stares at Rosaline and points at her. "The second I become evil again... I'm going to punch you. Very hard." "That's not very nice." "THATS THE POINT!!" Chrono walked away. "You didn't have to be a meanie about it." "Well you don't have to be a weenie about it." "You're the weenie! Weenie!!" "WEEIN... Are we talking about weenies?" "Seems so." "We're full grown adults!" "I don't kmow about you, but I hang around The Gear Pirates. A.K.A, the child crew....most of the time." "You don't seem to like your crew that much." "Coming from you? If I recall, your crew deserted you because you're a meanie and never let them do anything but clean." "Shut your damn mouth! That's none of your business! How'd you even figure that out?!" "Easy! I am extremely gifted." "Well... Didn't exactly go down as you said it did. Let's say I was a little nicer... And then they betrayed me. Then... I got mean. Real mean." "From what Kent says, you were a big jerk then." "Well I was still somewhat nice. Then they decided to knife me in the back. Literally. So I literally BURNT THEM ALIVE!" "That's mean!!" "Eh. I didn't need them anyway. I can get by on my own." Chrono turned his back. "Now. If I have to, I'll burn you and your crew as well." "You wouldn't dare!!" "Oh really? Wanna bet?" "I change my mind, it's something you would definitely do." "Good. Don't underestimate my passion for true absolute evil." "Wow, you are so obvious." "Hmm?" "Only a nice person would claim their evil! Evil people don't belive so!" "What about Riker? He talks about being evil all the time, and he tortures people." "He's Kent's grandson, he has a good heart under that cold exterior." "Don't tell me you believe that Riker is Kent's descendent? Cause he's not. I can travel down Kent's timeline and his kids afterwards, and never get to Riker. Instead I'll see Kent's family, next to Riker's in a village when he was born then they departed." Chrono glanced back at Rosaline to see her dozing off on a rock. "Really?" "Sleepy time..." She slurred before falling asleep. "I can't be that boring." "Yes. Yes you are." - Roku walked along the beach looking side to side. "Where oh where is Flora?" He asked himself. "She's avoiding me!" "Of course she is. Who're we talking about again?" Fantasia slurred, dropping her drink off the ship. "Oops! Oh well. I NEED ANOTHER GLASS!!" Roku looked up to Fantasia then walked away, not turning back. "Rosa!! Where?! Are?! You?!" Freya is being held by Rosa, and Freya starts to hic up. "You look like a pretty lady... Wanna do some crazy shit? Hic..." Roku stares at Freya and points at her. "How much did she drink?" "10 sips of a beer. Light beer." "I don't even drink... And I bet I could last longer!" Rosa glanced down to Roku. "The reason you don't drink is the same reason she shouldn't drink. You can't handle it." "I can handle it!" - "Hey Freyy.... Wanna mud wrestle?" "I can't... I'm a... Hic... Lady. Ladies... Hic... Don't do dishicgusthicing things." "Heh... True... Hic..." Fantasia stares at them. "Well Roku wins. He drank the entire cup before becomeing drunk." Roku put his hand into the air. "Wahoooo!! I.... Hic... Am the booze king! Now to become the.... Hic...." Roku fell put of his chair into unconsciousness. Rosa leaned back in her chair to look down to Roku and smiled. "I told him he couldn't handle it." Freya giggles and hiccups some more. She tries to sip her beer, but the beer disapers. It's suddenly in Rangton's hand. He downs the entire thing, and he has a disgusted face when he is done. "God... This is barely better then tap water." "And yet neither of them could handle a single bottle." Rosa got out her chair and flicked her wrists. A vine grew from the deck to pick up Roku. "He could only handle one cup. And Freya hasn't finished hers." "Yep. Shame that they are complete wimps when it comes to beer. Weird, they're probably stronger then either of us." Rosa exhaled. "And we have to trust these two with the assholes that we can't beat? I don't know why but I accept that." "Yep. We aren't the strongest folk. Not weak, just not strong." "Yeah... Wait a frigging second, I'm strong! Probably not as much as Roku, but stronger then you!" "Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. A pink haired girl is easily stronger then an obese midget." "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT YOU FAT FUCK!!!" "Such language! Such rage! Have you ever heard of being nice?" "Okay. Shut up you old Fuck." "See? That's better. Calling someone fat is rather rude." "What's with you? Why are you such an ass." "Me? An ass? I'll let you know I am a lot of things. An ass... Is one of them." "You're not as half as funny as you think." "True. I compensate with being drunk the other half." "You remind me too much like Tyran.... And I really hate Tyran. He's a bigger ass than you!" "He has a bigger ass than me? I don't know how or why you would make that comparison." "Shut the hell up!" "Is it because I wear blue pants? If I wore green, I would look like a slim sexy man in his mid 30s, trying desperately to look like his late 20s." "I said shut your damn mouth! I don't need that image in my head!" "What? An image of little old me? Calm down pervy. You got to buy me a drink first." "I'm gonna give you the Orwell Special." "What would that be?" "A giant gash down your back!!" "Wait... Last thing I heard, the Odwell special is when an extremly beatiful woman... And her 5 sisters gather around the old man, and eventually they all..." Rosa has a giant vine attempt to slash Rangton, but Rangton Ducks and runs away. "Dammit Tyran! I mean DAMMIT RANGTON!!" - Drew sat on the tip of a mountain, looking down to the island. "Hyperion. Can I ask you something?" "I would love to hear your question Drew.. But first. TAKE ME OUT YOUR GODDAMN POCKET!!" "Oh yeah. I forgot." Drew pulled Hyperion out. "My question, do you really think that Vincent was right?" "About you becoming admiral before me? Maybe. So what?" "I was thinking about my name." "Dammit Drew! Anything with cat is useless!" "Not this time. How about Admiral Shirotora?" "You do know that you could just say Byakko?" "I know. But White Tiger sounds better like that." "How about Fancy Pancy Cat." "No." "Okay... What about... Ferocious Man Slaughter Tiger!" "Are you joking?" "No." "Then you're a massive idiot." "An idiot that can beat you in anything and everything!!" "There's one thing I can do that you can't." "What would that be?" "I can swim." Hyperion stares at Drew, and tries to say something. He opens his mouth, but closes it. He huffs and looks out to the sea. "Drew... Low... Blow." "You once kicked me in the crotch. You have no room to say low blow." "Point taken." "Look... What about... Shado Neko?" "Dammit Drew I said nothing with cats!" "Is it because cats eat birds?" "Look, can you think of anything else beyond cat?!" "... The rhinoceros." "... I hate you Drew. I hate you. I hate this time line. I hate our time line... But to say this... I hate you the most." "White Tiger it is!" Drew stood up. "That's what I'm gonna go with! Oh! And Hyperion... I like you too." "Drew..... Fuck off." "Such a nice guy." - Georgiana stared at Jakk with confusion. "Okay, I'll ask.. What the hell are you wearing? And why the hell are you wearing it?" "Well, it's a Freedo. Apparently, that masked guy said it was good for my buns. So I have to find some bread. Hey, do you have any buns?" "What? Why do you need buns? And I don't think it's the kind of buns your thinking of." "To eat! Besides, what else are buns supposed to be? I do remember one of the palace guards saying that my sister had nice buns... But she wasn't holdings buns." "Palace guard?" "Oh! I was a prince!" "You were? What happened?" With a massive grin, Jakk told Georgina. "I killed a man, then my sis, and then destroyed a castle, causing my dad to die." "You see. Now I gotta think about arresting you. But since we're from different times it has nothing to do with me." She starts to walk away. "The guard was possibly talking about your sisters badonk a donk." "What's a badonk a donk?" "... My god, sometimes you are so adorable I want to hug you and hide you from everything bad." "Hide? As in hide and seek! CAN WE PLAY HIDE AND SEEK?!" "Alright fine. Go hide." "Mind if I play?" Gale asked. "It'd be better than reading Bow Sa Bala's books. And besides it's better with more people." "Okay! You hide, I'll seek!" Jakk pats Gale and Georgina, and Jakk stares at the ground. The two hide, with Jakk smirking. "I am a super doper genius! They have no idea that my devil fruit allows me to repel or attract people! I can a Ways win! I am the smartest smart person who was ever smart! HAHA!" Gale and Georgina jump in and kick Jakk. "DON'T SCREAM IT YOU BASTARD!" Jakk laid face down in the sand, twitching every few seconds. Gale looked down at him and sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if he's smart or dumb. Other times I wonder if he'll be okay.. This is one of those times I wonder if he'll be okay." Georgina shakes her head. "No. Not smart. He's like a small baby. He only became evil because he thought it was the smartest thing to do. Meaning... His smartest is your dumbest." "My brain hurts thinking about it." "Your brain hurts thinking in general." "God, women are so cruel. Am I right Jakk?" "My sister made me kill an innocent man." "... You win this round... But that stills proves my point, girls are evil." Georgiana grabs Gale by the ear and pulls him away. "We need to have a talk. You're going to see Vivian." "Who the hell is Vivian?" "Picture Sakazuki... If he was a dominatrix." "Ooh, sounds kinky." "Wait, I forgot one thing. She doesn't belive in safe words." "HOLY SHIT! SAVE ME! I DON'T LIKE THIS! I'D RATHER HAVE MY EAR TORN OFF!" "Too bad. That's where we're going. You'll meet Zero there.... Unless he's gone." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN GONE?!!" - Zero is stuffed in a iron maiden, trying hard not to get stabbed. Vivian is outside, holding a torch and surrounding the iron maiden with sticks. "Burn burn burn... The ring of fire. The ring of fire." "WHY ARE YOU SINGING THAT SONG?!" "No reason. Well Zelo..." "Zero." "Well Zoro... It was nice knowing you. The small moments we had... Were like the passion of a fire." Vivian dropped the torch. "You see. Under normal circumstances I would be enjoying the fact that I have a outrageously attractive woman's attention. But.... Since I'm fighting for my life I can't enjoy it!! AND ITS ZERO!! THE NUMBER BEFORE ONE!!" "I can count. Plus I like seeing you struggle." "You are one kinky, sadistic, dominatrix." "Thank you for the compliment Zuko." "ITS ZERO!!! And I didn't mean that in a good way!!" "Don't take it as one." The door explodes, with Raion holding a rifle and pointing it at Vivian. Taka and Ness are both holding bazookas, and they point it at Vivian. "STEP AWAY, FROM THE PERVERTED WASTE OF SPACE WE CALL A FRIEND!" Zero sunk down, avoiding the spikes in the Iron Maiden. "Not sure whether I should be glad they're here or sad that they're here." "ZERO!! We're here to set you free to be the useless member of the crew." Raion cheered, raising his gun. "Yep.... Definitely sad." "If you aren't part of the crew... AXEL IS THE MOST USELESS!" - Axel holds his chest. "I feel like... Something inside me... Imploded." - "WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!" Vivian grabs her staff, and licks. "Well... Let's have some fun!" "Let's!" Raion points his gun at Vivian and starts spraying bullets in all directions. "DUCK ZERO!!" "YOU SHOULDVE SAID THAT BEFORE YOU STARTED SHOOTING!!!!" Zero yelled from inside the chamber. Vivian dodged each bullet, making her way in front of Raion. "The fun starts now." "This is why I have backup. IDIOT DUO!!" The two surround her and they point the bazookas at her. "EAT THE POWER OF THE FURY OF THE TERRIFIC DUO OF MAGISTIC FEAR!" The bazookas blow out a puff of smoke, and the two stare at the bazookas. "Well... Shame." The two run away. Raion was gone, sitting next to the Iron Maiden. "Relax Zero, I'll find another way to come get you. I promise." "Just go away." Zero responded. "HOW CAN I?! You and I... Without you... WHO WILL BE MY NUMBER ONE PERV BUDDY?!" "IS THAT ALL I'M GOOD FOR?!" "Yes." "Vivian... Kill me now." "You can't die now!! You have a dream to become the pervert king! A dream to reopen your restaurants! To do that, you can't die here!!" "I can't do it." "DAMMIT ZERO!! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GROW A PAIR!!" Zero looks at his hands, and tightens his hands. "You're right. I must become the world's greatest perv ever!" Vivian laughs, and slams her staff at the iron maiden. "Quit it. To do that, you must outpervert... Me!" "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!! I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY DREAM!!" Zero shouted from inside, as he kicks the door. "Raion can you please open the door?" "Well... I might..." Taka and Ness, both holding crowbars, jump in and Attack the iron maiden. "WE'RE BACK!" Taka breaks opend the door and frees Zero. He places Zero in a bridal pose. "Please... Don't thank me. Thank milk, for giving me strong bones." Zero looked up to Taka. "I'm gonna let this slide, only because you saved me from being impaled by spikes. But next time you pick me up like this I'm gonna break your bones and steal your milk money." "NOT MY MILK MONEY!!!" "Yes. Every last beri." Ness slams Zero onto the ground. "PURE SATANIC EVIL!" Zero pulled himself off the ground and dusted off his coat. "That hurt more than it should." He turned to Vivian. "Now I can enjoy myself." Raion took a few steps back. "Is this about to be a battle of the pervs or a battle of the sexes? Either way I'm interested and rooting for the same person...... GO VIVIAN!!!" Zero quickly turned to Raion in a fit of rage. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE!!!" "Hmm...Kinky Pretty lady, or a man who's hair makes cat ears..... You see where I'm going with this right?" "Point taken." Vivian grips her staff and smiks. "Pervert off! Okay, what's the most perverted thing you have ever done?" "Pfft! That's easy. Being caught by a dominatrix so she could live her kinky sexual fantasies, stole both pieces of her underwear while I was at it." Zero pulled out a bright pink pair of underwear from his coat pocket. "These are yours aren't they?" Raion turned to Vivian with excitement. "Check! I need to know!!.... Wait! Both pieces?!" "You honestly thought I would settle for one?" Vivian grins, and points at her crotch. "Yeah, I wear panties, just to see if anyone will steal them. Just so I can do this." Vivian is holding 4 piece of men underhwere, and all the men stare at their pants. Ness freaks out. "I PLACED LOCKS ON MY WHERES!" Vivian drops a lock. She winks, and sniffs the underhwere. Ness covers himself. "I FEEL SO VIOLATED!" Taka covers Ness up. "RUN NESS! THE PEVR QUEEN WILL CONSUME YOU!" Ness hides behind a barrel. Zero looks at Ness then back at Vivian. "Jokes on you! Unlike those two. I enjoy women's hands in pants." "That's not something you say out loud." Raion stated, covering his eyes. "My question..... Where did you get mine?!" "I've had them since we first met." "HOLY HELL!" "Besides, I'll tell you what's the most perverted thing I have ever done. I..." "Vivian?" Anerin, crouches and gets through the door. "Good girl, it seems you are causing young brave lads to become soiled. I can not allow that. Young men, come with me! I can protect you from this evil maiden!" Zero angrily looks up to Anerin. "You're really late! She almost killed me in that damn metal chamber of kinky death! It's too late to safe us now, we're in a perv battle. And now I'm determined to win my underwear back!!" Raion turned to Anerin. "Excuse him. He's in the zone right now. But I'll go with you.... If I get something to eat and I won't see either Bow Sa Bala or Miguel. I don't wanna read or be forced into another speedo." "Well... It seems we have been nothing but bad influences. Vivian... SHOW YOUR RESPEST AS A MARINE!" "NEVER!" Anerin has his sword rest on Vivian's neck. "Vivian." "Did I say never? I mean... UNDERWHERE!" She throws the underwhere at Zero and grins. Anerin shears his sword. "Better." Raion raised his arms. "Where's my underwear?!" Vivian tossed him his blue rubber duck underwear. "Here ya go virgin." "Don't call me that!! Besides.... Everyone loves ducks. Especially the girls." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH no." "I said girls not evil vixens hell bent on abusing their partners." Zero tossed Vivian her underwear and walked off. "Well. I'm out. If you wanna challenge me again, just call." Raion stared as Zero walked out the room, then looked back to Anerin. "So about this food? Where is it? What is it? And how much is it? Wait, final question... Do I have to pay?" "Well... I do have food. I call it... JUSTCIE!" Anerin kidnaps Raion. "COME WITH ME BOY, AND TOGETHER WE WILL SAVE MAIDENS, CHILDREN, AND THE OCCASIONAL ROUGE WITH A GOLDEN HEART!" "You don't have to kidnap me to save women and children. I do that on a daily basis!" Raion teleports next to Anerin and holds out his fist. "We are allies in justice! Saving those who need it! And putting evil in its place!" "INDEED! LET US KILL A DRAGON, MARRY YOUNG VIRGIN PRINCESS, AND EVEN MAKE FRIENDS WITH A WHALE!" "FINALLY! THE FIRST AWESOME MARINE I HAVE MET SINCE I GOT HERE!" The two run off, dreaming of fighting gigantic dragons who fly by jet pack. Zero stared at the two then looked back to Vivian. "Dinner?" "It's gonna have to wait!!" Georgiana pulled Gale into the room. "I have another one for you." "ZERO!! HELP MEE!!" "When does a marine ask a pirate for help?" Zero turned away. "This is why we don't get along you piece of shit!" "Hey! I take offense to that!" Vivian looks bored, and walks away. "Nah. I don't go after M's. I prefer strong and or perverted men. Makes me feel better when I crush them." "Not sure whether to be offended or relieved." Gale murmured. "I'm getting let off from unimaginable things.... But I'm being called weak in the progress..." Zero turned to Gale and exhaled. "Trust me. It's a good thing. By now I'm sure she's stolen your underwear." Vivian lifts up a pair of bunny underwhere. "Really?" - Kent hid behind a giant rock, breathing heavily and nervously looking side to side. "How the hell do they keep finding me?" The leaves in the trees started to rustle, along with the sounds of branches breaking. "No no no no no no.." Tack jumped out, with two women on him. "I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS! Sheesh... What did Mason say about this? When two women are on top of you... Let them down easy." Tack dropped the two. Mandi bounced back up and picked up Tack by his arms. "You're lying! You know where he-" She abruptly stops and sniffs the air. "Cana, your hat please." Cana gave Mandi the hat and sat up. "Are you some kind of bloodhound?" "Nope. I just recognize his cologne. He was either here or he was here. I'm just using your hat for one thing." Mandi glanced inside and pulled out a small scrap of the Vivre card sown to it. "Oh yeah! He can no longer hide!" Kent laid his head back on the rock. "I'm screwed." Tack grabbed Kent. Tack Threw Kent. Hard. "FLY KENT! FLY TO NEVERLAND!" Kent nodded and gave Tack a thumbs up. "Your kindness is appreciated! Gia Gia no Sentinel!" Metal wings sprouted from his back and he shot off into the sky. Mandi grabbed Tack by his shirt and loaded him onto her crossbow. "FIRE!!" She shot Tack into the sky after Kent. "Get him back or don't come back!!" Tack flew past Kent and have a thumbs up. "Don't worry! I can survive this... WATER!" Tack clings to Kent, and the two fly off. "Nice plan Mandi." Cana said sarcastically. "It surely worked in the end." "SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!" "No no no, I'm telling the truth. The plan has no rhyme or reason. It is easily one of the most idiotic I have ever heard. Thus... It is perfect. My favorite part was when it didn't work." "Wow... I'm surprised that you aren't holding your face yet." "What?" Mandi slapped her. "Shit yo mouth and let me think!" "OF WHAT?!" "Of you shutting the hell up and letting me do something! Because all you are doing is bitching." "What I'm doing is enjoying your failures. And I gotta say they were quite entertaining." "Well Vegapunk, do you have any ideas?" "Yeah. The only one that will actually work. We trap him." "Been there done that." "You didn't let me finish. We trap him with food. Oh and by the way." Cana backhands Mandi. "Don't slap me. Ever." Mani slaps Cana, and the two start a slap fight. - Zero, Malk, Grace, and Wort are cooking up a Storm. "Why are we doing this again?" Zero asked wiping his sweat. "No idea! It's ridiculous!" Grace blared back. Wort walked around the room. "So do any of you mind being baked into a pie? You'll be delicious!" "Do you eat anything that isn't human related?" "Well... I find Lasagna and Human's to be rather poor." Zero dropped his spoon. "I can't work while trying to not puke into my food. Stop talking about eating people!!" "Don't knock it till ya try it." "I NEVER WILL!" "THEN YOU FAIL AS A CHEF!" The two stare at each other, snarling, with Malk cutting up lettuce and ignoring them. "I am in a normal kitchen, without a massive perv and a canibal about to fight to the death." "I resent that!!" Zero shouted. "I'm complicated." "You're a perv. No ifs ands or buts. Besides, you have pervert written across your forehead." "BULLSHIT!!!" Malk grabs a marker and writes pervert on his forehead. "Now it is." Malk chuckles and Zero leans to Wort. "Wanna kill him?" "INDEED! HE ONCE DEFEATED ME IN BATTLE, AND EVER SINCE THEN I HAVE DEMANDED REVENGE!" "Let's get going." Zero throws off his shirt. "It's time to bust open a can of whoop ass!" Wort licked his lips then bit Zero. "OW!!" He slammed his elbow into Wort's face and turned to him. "I thought we were on the same side!!!" "You should learn to never trust Wort." Malk suggests, turning back to his cooking. Malk finished the meal, and grinned. "TIME FOR A WONDERFUL..." He opens the door, and stares. No one is in the vicinity, because they are doing random crap. "Well... Seems like the 4 of us can just lay low, eat good food, and bitch about our jobs." Zero relaxed. "Good cause I got hella shit to talk. Who's going first?" Grace sits down, and pours herself some vodka. "Okay... So Hayley, is Totally a massive jerk! Once, when I asked for sushi, she said 'We don't have enough money'. Sure, we don't have enough money to buy sushi, but enough money to buy a wedding dress?" Wort gasps and sips some tequila. "Shut up!" "I'm telling the truth! I saw her wearing it. You know what that means." Malk looks at his drink. "That we are so boring, that we have to talk about other people." "Of course." "Good, because I have a dozen stories to tell, and none of them are about me." Category:Nobody700 Category:TrueKing3000 Category:Dead End Journey Arc